I come from a place where it’s an unwritten law to be modest. “Don’t think you’re special“. Don’t take any extra space. Don’t be loud, blend in with the mass, be in the shadow with the rest. In Scandinavia this mentality is called ‘Jantelagen’ and in English, Law of Jante. Wikipedia summed the law as following:
The ten rules state:
- You’re not to think you are anything special.
- You’re not to think you are as good as us.
- You’re not to think you are smarter than us.
- You’re not to convince yourself that you are better than us.
- You’re not to think you know more than us.
- You’re not to think you are better than us.
- You’re not to think you are good at anything.
- You’re not to laugh at us.
- You’re not to think anyone cares about you.
- You’re not to think you can teach us anything.
I got my fair share of haters when I was younger and didn’t obey to this law at all. When I was younger I felt and lived like a rockstar. I was fearless, loud, slightly annoying and enthusiastic. Then I let people get to me and I tried to adapt. At first I just acted like a more modest person to blend in, but I acted for so long that it actually became who I was and with it came insecureness and sadness, I felt lost.
Hollywood have been my lucky escape. All imaginations you have of hollywood is true, so you can bet that I blended in perfectly fine here, I think I even could have been interpreted as boring my first weeks here. My dance teacher Stixx gave me my first wake up call. ‘Bella whatcha doing? You have to give me some attitude, straighten your back, confidence, You have to bring out your inner diva…etc.” My friend Louie gave me my second wake up call with his wise words ‘Living like we made it‘. That’s my favorite phrase of all time. I’m not gonna live my life striving for this and that or saying what I can’t do or what I lack. Who knows when I’ll be gone. I’ll live my dream life right now, and as a bonus when you do that you’ll wake up one morning realizing that all things you imagined magically got true. Have you seen the documentary The Secret? If not, you should.
My third, fourth, fifth and so on, wake up calls, have been every amazing individual I’ve met here. I adore them all. They are all fearless, passionate, strong and independent. The people who has crossed my life here knows how to appreciate the small things and how to encourage one another. And my friend Mimi hit the head on the nail with ‘be who you want to be and make it who you are‘.
I’ll leave Hollywood the 1st of February and the greatest thing my stay here has given me is me. I have found back to me. I’ve finally taken of the heavy blanket I’ve hidden under for so long and now I want to say to you all who are afraid to live up to your potential or get words like ‘who do you think you are’ when you try to: “Do not think you are anything special” ? God dammit you are the writer, director and lead role in your life. Take some space girl.
Happy New Year everybody! 2013 Highlights: I started this blog, Graduated, Rhodes, Met a lot of great new people, Made my first Music Video Market Yourself, Moved to L.A, I found myself again and became happy. Not that bad of a year huh? So what’s on 2014? I’ll be a much keener blogger and entertainer, I’ll move to Stockholm for a while, I’ll start a new band, I’ll make my first Album and most importantly I’ll enjoy life even more.
How did you celebrate New Years eve? What do you think about my new hair cut? Let me know!
Be free, Be true, Be happy. Xoxo
Today I came up with this thought: Life is like traveling and the final destination is good self esteem. When you get there you finally can take a breather and just enjoy yourself.
So before you start putting effort trying to change your surroundings, begin with yourself. Begin with finding peace in yourself, begin with loving yourself and feel good about yourself. That’s a pretty hard task itself, but when you achieve it you’ll be blown away over how much the world around you simultaneously changed.
Haven’t you ever met a person who is so easy to like and hang out with? When you meet a human who feel good about herself it’s contagious and you feel relaxed and safe in their company. I wish to all people good self esteem, that’s a quality I highly value in people.
Okey so I’m a bit late with this trend but here we go! Throwback Thursday, or you know, #tbt.
Today I found this draft from 8th of June in my phone, I don’t remember writing it but I appreciate that I did. Somehow I’ve lost that spirit I had when writing the draft but reading it renew the feeling of ‘anything is possible’ ‘I love life’ ‘freedom!’… Well here’s what I’ve wrote:
June 8 2013:
Last saturday I graduated and the moment of freedom where finally here. Now I’m free to do whatever crosses my mind. This is it. It’s now or never I shall do all the things I want to do in life. I owe me that. It’s hard to let friends and lovers behind to endeavor what I want from life. But if I don’t do these things now, I know I’ll die with regret. Regretting the things I didn’t do. So sorry mother, sorry father, sorry sister, sorry friend. This is my life and right know the only one who can help me, is myself.
I have some crazy years in front of me and now I just wanna live, just wanna be free.
Hi you! I won’t talk about me today. Or music. This one will actually be a regular old fashioned blog post. And it will be a follow up to one of my earlier posts. Fellow blogger Bill got me aware of that I had forgotten a important thing in my ‘Why tattoos?‘ post. I just wanted to say to you all who is over-thinking whether to get a tattoo or not. If you want one just get one, a tattoo is a visibly memory. The making of a tattoo gives you an experience, a memory that will be fixed on your skin. You’ll always remember the mood you was in while making the tattoo, the conversations you had with the artist, the period of your life you where in at the moment, which sorrows burden you, which joy pepped you… And so on. A tattoo is kinda like a perfume, when smelling on a perfume you wore years ago, the memories from that time area will be crystal clear. So in the end, the motive of the tattoo isn’t that important, the real matter is what you associate it with.
Then again if you’re not that kind of person who wants to remember stuff, just want to look forward and never look back to be reminded of the path. I highly recommend you NOT to get a tattoo.
That’s all for today, take care!
Spent all day yesterday makin’ music. Around midnight I was done in the studio and went out dancing with two of the most significant people in my life. What ever may come, but life doesn’t get any better than this. Would I die tomorrow people could say that “she died happy and in peace”.
Completely different layout, but still them same page, don’t worry. Hope ya’ll like it!
When I’m already on it I should tell you that I have much going on now, so I won’t be as keen blogger in the near future. This is because I’m spending all of my time in the studio make music or in my art studio ( finally one of my dreams came true when I recently got my own art studio, you can check it out on Instagram! ) I hope you’ll stick around to see the result of my time thieves.